To the breaking point

Apr 18, 2010

Editor's note: The Coaches Corner column appears regularly on the DrBicuspid.com advice and opinion page, Second Opinion.

Life getting too full? Not enough time to get everything done? Nowhere to squeeze another thing to do into your Day-Timer?

Time to look at your life and where you're going!

Most people struggle with several major areas concerning time. Here's a list of what they are and what you can do about them:

The first is what we put up with, or what can be called "tolerations." When I ask people to make a list of what they're putting up with at the office, at home, with family and friends, and so forth, once they make a list of 10 or 20 items, they'll often be able to go to 100 items! Once the door has been opened up to allow people to express all the things in their life that drags them down, that irritates or upsets them, that makes them feel less than alive, a flood of things usually come out.

Go head -- stop right now and make your own list.

Now, what can you do about what you put up with? Simple: Start eliminating what you tolerate, starting with the easy ones first. Don't tackle big ones, such as changing job, as first steps. Understand that putting up with these tolerations robs you of freedom, spontaneity, and aliveness. Also, don't take on new tolerations. If you feel something coming on that needs addressing, do it promptly. Don't have another item to add to your list! (Go on doctors -- get that desk cleared off!)
Quit overcommitting and not being able to say no. Knowing what's important to you, then orienting your life around it will help you discern what keeps you on the path of feeling alive and free versus overwhelmed and deadened.
Get organized! Most professionals and business owners have substantial demands placed on them. You can deal with the scheduling challenge in several ways. First, hire a personal assistant or contact a professional organizer (yes, there is a National Association of Professional Organizers).

If that idea doesn't light your fire, try working with an electronic planner and software. Being able to keep all your important dates and contacts in one area helps tremendously. If you're near your laptop often, use one of the various organizing software programs available, such as Outlook, ACT, or GoldMine. In the least, get a Day-Timer or Franklin Planner to help you keep track of your obligations and not overcommit.
Spend substantial time developing yourself and the important elements of your life. In the coaching profession, we call it our "Personal Foundation," which centers these following components:
- Clearing unresolved matters
- Restoring your integrity
- Getting all of your needs met
- Extending your boundaries
- Personal standards
- Eliminating what you are tolerating
- Coming from positives
- Resolving key family relationships
- Developing a supportive community
- Reorienting around your values
This type of work is perhaps the most useful and important part of personal and professional growth. As a coach, helping you develop a strong Personal Foundation is at the heart of what I do. It's the engine that drives everything else.

Once a person has a strong Personal Foundation, there's no limit to what's possible. Problems melt, tolerations cease, abundance shows up, and aliveness and freedom rule the day.

So, how's your Personal Foundation?

Don Deems, D.D.S., F.A.G.D., known as the Dentist's Coach, is a co-founder of the Dental Coaches Association, an organization of dentists who are professional coaches committed to bringing professional coaching to the dental profession. Learn more about professional coaching by visiting www.dentalcoachesassociation.org.

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