Editor's note: The Coaches Corner column appears regularly on the DrBicuspid.com advice and opinion page, Second Opinion.
Sure, coaching is about management, change, and more choices -- otherwise known as perspectives on the issues as they present themselves. But beneath this layer of change management and varied perspectives is the foundation where new possibility takes root, that of responsibility and awareness.
The kind of awareness I am speaking of comes right form Webster's dictionary: "Aware implies having knowledge of something through alertness in observing or in interpreting what one sees, hears, feels, etc."
Thus, you are only able to control what you are aware of, and what you are unaware of controls you. Having awareness will empower you with a choice for more control. So having an awareness-raising coach is indispensable until you master awareness for yourself, and that will logically lead to continuous improvement and self-discovery.
More than just awareness of the things around you is self-awareness in knowing what you are experiencing while you are experiencing it. This makes you an active listener, self-managing your "stuff" while you process what is being said or done around you, and giving you the real advantage with the possibility of being proactive rather than reactive.
Responsibility means seeing yourself as "cause in the matter." If you take on 100% responsibility, then the conversations you have are never about blame or shame. Performance or results are a function of responsibility and commitment, beginning and ending with your integrity and your ability to keep your word, to do what you say you will do.
Often the lack of communication problem is merely the symptom, the root cause being resistance. Being actively aware helps you see that and differentiate that it is the behavior, not the person, that needs corrective action. Being responsible to the problem means taking 100% responsibility for the lack of communication, rather than finding fault in another. It is not good luck but good awareness and a commitment to being 100% responsible that is needed.
Dan Kingsbury, D.D.S., life and dental coach, is a co-founder of the Dental Coaches Association, an organization of dentists who are professional coaches committed to bringing coaching to the dental profession. Learn more by visiting DentalCoachesAssociation.org.
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