Editor's note: The Coaches Corner column appears regularly on the DrBicuspid.com advice and opinion page, Second Opinion.
We're now six weeks into the new year. How are you doing with all your New Year's resolutions? That's what I thought.
Many of us use January 1 as an arbitrary date to begin to change the things we don't like about ourselves or our lives. Self-improvement is good because it is part of personal growth. The problem comes about six to eight weeks into the year when we get frustrated and discouraged about our failure to create positive change in our lives. We get down on ourselves.
Maybe your broken resolutions -- New Year's and all year -- aren't the result of a lack of motivation or will power. Maybe your resolutions fell away because you didn't have a plan that would help you achieve your goals.
Scientists who study these things have discovered that there are a few key factors in setting and achieving goals. Ignore these factors and your resolutions are just wishes. And when you wish upon a star ... you don't get very far.
If you listen to enough motivational speakers, you'll start hearing many of these factors. Most of us know one or two of these keys. But as a subscriber to Dr. Bicuspid.com, you get them all right here. Here is how you start:
Your goal should be specific. When you tell yourself "I want to lose weight," you set yourself up to fail. The failure comes because you can't lose this game. The emphasis is on the wanting to lose weight, not the losing of the weight. So if you always want to lose weight, you're always winning in your mind.
Try this instead: "I will lose 8 pounds."Give yourself a deadline, a time. If you set an open-ended goal, you'll never fail because you always have more time. A key concept in coaching is that you cannot win a game you cannot lose. Make yourself accountable by putting yourself on deadline. Say this: "I will lose 8 pounds by June 1."
Make your goal believable (to yourself) and achievable. "Losing 20 pounds before my college reunion next month" is not achievable. You don't believe it, either. So you've given up before you've even started. Now you're really discouraged.
Break the goal down this way: "I will lose 8 pounds by June 1. That means I will lose 1 pound every two weeks until I have lost 8 pounds."
I believe you can lose 8 ounces each week without any major changes in your lifestyle. More important, if you believe it, you will make it happen.Record your goals and your progress. Malpractice attorneys will tell you that if it isn't written down, it didn't happen. Likewise with your goals. The act of writing your goals on paper (rather than on a computer) programs your neurons for your new behavior. Writing your goals and your progress reinforces your purpose and motivation.
Tell friends and family about your goals. One of the best motivators is self-esteem. People will do just about anything to save face and be right. Rig the game in your favor by telling people your goals. This is one of the secrets of 12-step programs: They require the participants to go public. If you keep your goals to yourself, you can fail and stay in denial. If you go public, you're much more likely to succeed.
Specific
Time
Achievable
Record
Tell
START now to get what you want out of life. You'll be amazed at your progress, and pleased with your success.
Alan Stafford, D.D.S., M.B.A., M.A.G.D., is a certified coach who shows dentists how to create the perfect practice and the perfect life: more time, less stress, more joy. Contact Dr. Stafford at [email protected] or [email protected].
The comments and observations expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the opinions of DrBicuspid.com, nor should they be construed as an endorsement or admonishment of any particular idea, vendor, or organization.
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