Making your dreams come true

Editor's note: The Coaches Corner column appears regularly on the DrBicuspid.com advice and opinion page, Second Opinion.

Most of us have dreams: passionate visions of future outcomes. Dreams can be external; Perhaps your dream is for your child to be a happy, successful adult. Or dreams can be internal. You can be thinking of the day you retire and sail the Caribbean. Either way, dreams are fun. They keep us going through the drudgery of daily life.

But how many of us actually see our dreams come true? Does each passing year look pretty much the same as the year before? Do your dreams fall away one by one as you convince yourself that they are impractical, unrealistic, or just plain childish? Worst of all, are you reading this article and realizing that you no longer have any dreams?

One of the biggest challenges I see with my coaching clients is that they have run out of dreams. They see no joy in their future. Their present is filled with all the things they "need" to do. Weeks turn into months, months into years, yet nothing changes in their lives. They are too busy running practices and paying bills to discover the joy in "now" or to dream of an even better future.

Worse, some people never had dreams to begin with. At least, not dreams of their own. Instead, their lives -- and aspirations -- are programmed by other people: Parents, friends, teachers, or spouses. These stifled souls spend their days doing what they have been told they should do, not what they want to do.

So what's the answer? How do you make your dreams come true? First, you have to allow yourself to dream -- give yourself permission to imagine what would make you truly happy and fulfilled. No matter how crazy or impractical it may seem to everyone else.

Next, realize that everything in life is a tradeoff. Everything you want has a benefit, but it also has a cost. When people are not achieving their dreams, it's not because the dream is unrealistic. People fail to achieve their dreams because they are not willing to pay the price. They are not willing to make the tradeoffs that will get them what they truly want.

That's when dreams become pipe dreams. Pipe dreams are just fantasies. And fantasies are merely wishes that we we are unwilling to make any effort to achieve.

Dreams do come true. But they always come with a cost. If you want to make your dreams come true, be sure the dream is your dream and not someone else's. Then identify the cost and get busy making the payments.

Alan Stafford, D.D.S., M.B.A., M.A.G.D., is a certified coach who shows dentists how to create the perfect practice and the perfect life: more time, less stress, more joy. Contact Dr. Stafford at [email protected] or [email protected].

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