All you need is love

Mar 7, 2010

Editor's note: The Coaches Corner column appears regularly on the DrBicuspid.com advice and opinion page, Second Opinion.

Appointments, especially long and highly remunerative ones, are beginning to disappear. And when that happens, all of our planning goes out the window.

Has that been your experience recently? Nobody is immune. At least that is what I am hearing from colleagues. Now might be the perfect time to see if we have built the internal structures and relationships that will help us get through this period.

Is everyone in your office up for this challenging time? Are we durable enough, smart enough, loving enough? We are certain that things will get better -- but when?

My unconscious reaction to what is going on around us economically is that I back off of telling my patients about the necessary -- and often expensive -- dentistry they need. It feels as though I'm rubbing salt into their un- or underemployed wounds when I mention a crown, bridge, or laminate to shore up shattered enamel.

So I fudge and waffle, and I think I am being compassionate. I use words and phrases such as "next time," "down the line," "observe," "watch," and I say to myself that my patients will appreciate that I am being sensitive to their circumstances.

But I caught hell last week from my staff. Or at least that is how it felt at first. During our regular staff meeting my hygienist said, "Alan (yes, we are we informal), you're going soft on me!"

"Ouch," I thought. But since one of our staff meeting rules is that we are prohibited from getting defensive and explaining ourselves, I had to sit back and listen. Being silent is sometimes tough.

"We just bought this little transilluminator -- at your suggestion, I might add -- so that I could show our patients the cracks and breaks in their enamel and enroll them in getting their teeth fixed before the situation got worse," she said. "This morning when I told you what I had seen on two patients, you woosed out on me!"

"I know you are nervous about what is happening in the economy and don't want to recommend treatment that will strain our patient' finances," she went on, "but that is a mistake. Your job is to diagnose and come up with treatment plans. Nadine's job (Nadine is our financial coordinator) is to develop a financial plan that makes sense for our patients and our office. And besides, what do you think Bernard (made-up name) would think if his tooth broke tonight, and he just was here and we didn't mention the problem to him? We certainly wouldn't look very competent, would we?"

She was on a roll now. "We'll watch it, monitor it, observe it -- baloney! That is 'fudging' talk. We are hedging when we use that language. Stop worrying about being such a nice guy. People want to know what is wrong and what you can do about it. Period."

She paused. "I hope I haven't hurt your feelings, Alan."

"Too late," I thought.

The meeting ended, and of course I felt exposed. But I also I felt loved, understood, and supported. And that is when the Beatles' hit song came to mind. "All you need is love, love, love. All you need is love." And it has stayed with me ever since. I wasn't alone anymore. My team was with me.

"All you need is love. ..."

And it is true, with love ... it's easy.

Alan Goldstein, D.M.D., F A.C.D., is a member of the Dental Coaches Association, an organization of dentists and professional coaches who are committed to bringing professional coaching to the dental profession. Learn more by visiting www.dentalcoachesassociation.org.

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