That didn't go as planned

Negative emotions arise easily when life doesn't go as planned. What makes it even worse is when you've done your homework, thought through potential roadblocks, and prepared your team by sharing expectations, things sometimes still can go south. When this happens, it evokes senses of failure, disappointment, and regret.

There is another way to look at life when things don't go as planned. One that doesn't trigger your stress response and keep you from experiencing all those negative emotions. Do these four steps and start enjoying the spontaneous opportunities life brings to you.

Plan for them to not go as planned

What triggers your stress response is your limited capacity to navigate the situation you're going through. When you have lots of tools in your toolbox, your stress response isn't triggered, because you can rely on a tool to get you through. In dentistry, it's important to dot your i's and cross your t's, and plan for it not to go well.

Jen Butler, MEd.

• Make sure you document all learning experiences and make immediate changes to address for future, similar situations.
• Give yourself more time in the beginning to complete tasks. Then, take every minute you have to go through the process asking yourself questions: Is this going correctly? How can I make this work ideally? What is my first step if things go south? Who is my lifeline if I need help? What role do my team members play to aid in this process?
• Double- and triple-check everything as you go.
• Have an alternative action to counterbalance each step you make. Say to yourself, "If not this, then this," until you've covered all your bases.

Overcommunicate

Too often, as the doctor, you keep all the steps to the plan in your head. You think you're the only one that understands the process, because you went to the training and, well, you're the doctor.

This is false thinking. You may know the clinical steps on how to complete a procedure, but that's not the only piece to consider. Partner with your team members, as they know the process on caring, impressing, and serving the patient. Bring your team into the fold, into your head, and make them part of the process. Ask them what they see from their perspective. Encourage them to visualize the whole process and what steps everyone needs to be aware of.

Your team members are skilled at what they do, just as you are skilled at what you do. They see things differently than you, see things you don't, and see how things can go south in different ways. This is all good news. They are your complement and can fill in the gaps to complete the patient experience.

Rehearse

You've practiced your skills at the training seminar. You've picked up typodonts and practiced on models. You've watched videos of the procedure, closing your eyes and visualizing every move. You can verbalize every step in its exact order and complete it all to success. And then you never rehearse. Practicing the clinical skills is easy and in your wheelhouse.

What also needs to happen is to have a rehearsal before you go live. Have a friend or family member play the role of patient, and during closing hours or quiet times, rehearse what will happen step by step from the time patient walsk in the door to the time he or she leaves. Give yourself permission to mess up. Starting from the top is encouraged, because when you feel comfortable in the beginning, the rest typically falls into place. Do it over and over, rehearsing different situations and switching up steps and outcomes (especially those outcomes where it doesn't go as planned). You and the team get to rehearse what you'll say, how you'll say it, what will need to be resolved, and how to talk to the patient when things don't go as planned.

Choose wisely

Science proves that what we tell ourselves we believe. The amazing thing about that is we get to choose what we tell ourselves. Stop reading just for a moment and really take that in. That statement is truly the root of all stress and the answer to all stress management. When things don't go as planned, be aware of what you tell yourself.

Don't say phrases such as:

• That was terrible. I'll never do that again.
• I let that patient down. I'm not ready for this.
• It's all my fault, and now the patient had a terrible experience.
• Why did I even try that. I should know better.
• Those kind of things are for skilled docs. Not me.

Do say phrases such as:

• That was a learning experience. When I do that again, I will definitely do it differently.
• I'm going to call that patient and let them know this is not an indication of how we do things. We will be ready for them next time.
• That patient didn't receive the kind of experience I want my patients to have. What can I do so this doesn't happen with the next patient?
• There is always learning moments during growth, and this is one of them. Now I know better, so I will do better.
• My skill level in this area isn't what I'd like it to be, so I'm going to do X, Y, and Z to change that.

If life just went as planned, it would be pretty boring. Missteps, mishaps, mistakes, and misbehaviors are what propel us to learn, grow, change, adapt, and challenge our current way of being. When things don't go as planned, they are a gift and an opportunity. Tell yourself that.

Jen Butler, MEd, certified professional coach (CPC), board-certified coach (BCC), has been working in the area of stress management and resiliency coaching for more than 20 years. She is available as a coach/consultant, speaker, and trainer. To learn more about her services, to sign up for her monthly "stressLESS" newsletter, or to take the Dental Stress Self-Assessment, please visit her website. Contact her at 623-776-6715 or [email protected] for more information.

The comments and observations expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the opinions of DrBicuspid.com, nor should they be construed as an endorsement or admonishment of any particular idea, vendor, or organization.